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Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Orcs? (because I forgot)

A few months ago I had a bit of an author’s nightmare. I lost a manuscript. It wasn’t just a first draft, either. It was the full shebang… a completely edited version of a story I really love. To make matters worse, it turns out I had been sending the first draft manuscript to publishers. An absolute rookie error and entirely my own fault.

Still, I couldn’t figure out where I had gone wrong. I have a lot of files and I am (usually) meticulous about saving everything. I even send emails to myself every 5k words after I hit the 50k mark. So, where the hell was this book?

I only noticed my error after a publisher sent me a (lovely) rejection letter. I had decided they were going to be my last shot at traditional publication for this story and I was really hopeful… because they were freaking awesome and I’m a daydreaming romantic. They were based in the north of England so they’d get all my jokes, they had some really great authors, they seemed totally involved in every stage of the process, and their covers were pretty bloody good. I was excited about the prospect of potentially working with them. When they opened for submissions, I sent the first 10k words, which is standard, and made sure it was as polished as polished could be. And I was absolutely thrilled when they sent a message back a few weeks later saying they loved it and wanted to read the full manuscript.

A full request is a huge deal for a little indie author like me. I was chuffed to bits.

I checked the full manuscript and sent it away and then tried not to get too excited every time my phone buzzed for the next few months.

Eventually, the rejection came. They were lovely. Genuinely lovely. It was clearly a personal email and not a form rejection, so I took the hit and chalked it up to one more nail on the wall (that’s a reference for the Stephen King fans). But I was still pretty excited for this story so decided I’d read it through again with fresh eyes and see what needed to be done for potential self-publication.

And that’s when I noticed the errors. Everything after the 10k word mark hadn’t been touched. When I ‘checked the manuscript’ I had clearly just glanced over the first few chapters. Yep, it was polished. Yep, I remember making that change. Happy days. Send it off, Alex!

It was pretty bad, hey. Some really basic issues. And not just line edits but content edits as well. I found myself making changes I was certain I’d already made. I began to doubt myself, and genuinely got pretty wound up about the whole thing. It just kept happening. I would make changes that I knew I’d made before, so I spent hours looking through my files for the ‘real’ document. To my distress, I couldn’t find it anywhere and seriously began to doubt myself.

Today, I found it.

I got the rejection about two months ago. I have spent the last two months editing the story (again). Today, I finished my edits on Word.

Now, I have a bit of process when it comes to self-publication. I use a program called Reedsy to typeset my manuscripts. I do a few versions, because I like to make my book look like a book and then do another round of edits. I find I can pick errors more easily when it is typeset like a novel. If I have the means, I’ll even print it out. So, today I uploaded Orcs to Reedsy in order to send it to my Kindle. Something I had already done… 6 months ago!

It was right there. Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Orcs? Right there on Reedsy. That’s where I edited it last. And then I set it to download as a Word document so I could reformat it and send it off to publishers. Apparently, however, I had some sort of total brain fart and just completely forgot.

I wish I could contact the publisher and explain but that would be pretty lame. “Hey, remember that story you rejected, well I accidentally sent the wrong version, would you mind having another look?” I’m a high school teacher. I know that excuse. I also know exactly how it would be received.

To say I’m gutted is an understatement, and look, I know they might have rejected the story anyway, but I didn’t give myself the best chance and that really pisses me off.

But at least you know that if I ever do self-publish this story, it will be edited to within an inch of its life (or, chances are, be the wrong bloody story!)

Thanks for reading. I figured I’d write one last post about Orcs before the whole Saint and the Shadowman thing kicks off. That one has a publisher and is due for release next month – the 22nd of July. Stay tuned for ghost post spam!

Cheers,

Al (that’s short for Alex, not Artificial Intelligence) 

The art work for this post is from a story called The Three Fingered Ogre as part of Zero, Ghost Detective. It was written by Toni Blum. Pen and Ink by Dan Zolnerowich (signed Arthur Hamon Doyle). It was published in Feature Comics 32, May 1940 and is accessible here https://comicbookplus.com/?dlid=74665

Rock Zombie – Best Horror Novel Finalist – 2024 Aurealis Awards

To my absolute delight, Rock Zombie is a finalist in the BEST HORROR NOVEL category for 2024’s Aurealis Awards!

I am completely over the moon and so grateful to the wonderful judges at Aurealis and to everyone who has read and supported Rock Zombie since its publication on Halloween last year. In fact, I’m grateful to everyone who supported it BEFORE publication (and during… and after!)

Rock Zombie had a long, meandering, and often shuffling journey into existence before I decided to go down the self-publishing route. There were offers, deals, contracts, lots of rejections, plenty of ghosting (ha!), and, honestly, quite a lot of disappointment. This writing lark can be a difficult gig at times. You put heart and soul into a book and you have to believe in it, otherwise what’s the point? This kind of affirmation and support is utterly magic, so, thank you!

Rock Zombie is a silly story. I know it is. But it’s a love letter to the town I grew up in and a period of time that shaped who I am. All that music, all those pop culture references, all those nods to classic horror, novels, and films – they all come together in Rock Zombie in a way I’m quite proud of. But perhaps more importantly, once I decided to take full control myself, I thoroughly enjoyed the whole process. The stress vanished and it was all about the love of the story and embracing the silly, pulp, grunge aesthetic of the whole thing. I loved creating cryptic social media posts, random TikTok videos, Spotify playlists, art work, organising a book launch and generally just making a tit of myself. And people got onboard! Having Aurealis place Rock Zombie as a finalist – alongside such stellar company – is really the icing on the cake.

So, thank you! Thank you to Aurealis, thank you to every reader, thank you to every reviewer, and thank you to everyone who still supported me despite the very real concerns of “Oh dear, what is he going to write next?”

Best wishes to J S Breukelaar, David-Jack Fletcher, Josh Kemp, Ben Pienaar and Deborah Sheldon. What an honour it is to sit alongside you.

Thanks for reading folks!

For more info about Rock Zombie, click this tag.

To buy Rock Zombie, follow this link

Cheers!

Arthur Crazy #3 – The Saint and the Shadowman – and some other stuff.

On July 22nd, 2025 – if Cyclone Alfred doesn’t wipe us out in the meantime – the third Arthur Crazy book will be hitting the shelves!

The Saint and the Shadowman picks up a few months after the events of book 2 and takes place back in the beautiful, haunted city of York. But it’s the height of summer… there can’t be that many ghosts kicking around when the sun sets at 1030pm, right? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

I’ve been spectacularly slack with my blog updates since Rock Zombie and Sleigh: Reindeer Games 3 came out but I think it’s about time I remedied that. You might notice – if you fancy a rummage in the undercarriage – that this little website has had a bit of a spring clean. I got rid of some faffery and streamlined the whole deal to try and make it seem a bit more… professional? I’m not sure if that is the right word for me. And I will endeavour to post more frequent updates and perhaps take this whole thing a bit more seriously. Well, it can’t be any worse than arguing with strangers on Threads can it!

The truth is, I sat down today – a bizarre and random day off work because we live in the path of Tropical Cyclone Alfred – and I decided to roll the dice one last time for a few of my books.

It was… exhausting.

I LOVE having a publisher, and the work Parliament House Press have done on the Arthur Crazy books is bloody brilliant, but it’s a hard slog trying to find another publisher to take on my other books. And with Rock Zombie – and the Reindeer novellas – I had a lot of fun doing it by myself. Oh sure, I sold feck all but it was fun!

Maybe I’m just tired? Or maybe I should just suck it up and crack on.

To self-publish or not to self-publish… that is the question.

Actually, what was this post about? Oh yeah… The Saint and the Shadowman… which IS being published!

Yep… “professional”

Arthur Crazy is hungover, but the dead don’t care about headaches.

The city of York is teetering on the edge of disaster. During a rare eclipse, the Shadowman casts a spell atop the Minster, trapping the city between the realm of the living and the dead. Ghosts flood the streets, and Arthur, with his best friend Steve, is the only one who can stop the chaos.

But Arthur’s not exactly in hero shape. Haunted by his past and drowning his sorrows in the nearest pint, he’s barely keeping it together. That is, until he meets Nae—a beautiful stranger who might just hold the key to helping him feel normal again.

Now, with the Shadowman’s spell tearing the veil between worlds, the city’s only hope rests on a washed-up hero, a saint from the Shambles, and a dog who won’t stop talking.
York needs a miracle. Arthur needs another drink.

Or maybe a Panadol and a panini.

PRE-ORDER HERE!

“There’s a bomb on the sleigh!”

Sleigh: Reindeer Games 3 is out now so get ready for the Christmas rush!

The third and final instalment in my series of utterly bizarre Christmas comedy/horror novellas is available on Amazon – books2read.com/reindeergames3 – and as usual, it’s cheaper than a pint! (or two pints if you’re going for the paperback).

I also stole an idea from my last novel, Rock Zombie, by having the chapters named after famous songs. This time it’s Christmas bangers!

Wonderfully, the exceptionally cool Dave Musson of ‘Dave Reads King’ on YouTube and Instagram put together this amazing review of all three Reindeer Games stories. Have a looksie and give the man some love…

Finally, here’s the blurb for Reindeer Games 3…

Christmas is safe! Mrs. Claus brought down an entire terrorist cell and rescued her husband from the towering inferno of Knickerbocker Plaza. Now it’s the time for Santa to do what he does best: deliver the goods! But as jolly old Saint Nick takes to the skies, the North Pole gets a chilling call:

There’s a bomb on the sleigh! Ho. Ho. Ho.

Enter Jack Frost, the nymph-loving Prince of Winter, with his own entries in both sections of the Naughty and Nice List.

Partnered with Sandra, a fiercely determined rookie reindeer with dreams of pulling the sleigh, Jack hurtles into a chaotic quest through time warps, wormholes, and a nightmare-inducing sack of horrors.

Can this unlikely duo save Santa and Mrs. Claus, defuse the bomb, and rescue Christmas? Or will the holiday season go up in flames—along with everyone on the sleigh?

Packed with bad-taste jokes, twisted thrills, and more profanity than a drunk elf on Boxing Day, Sleigh: Reindeer Games 3 is a no-holds-barred comedy horror thrill ride that will leave you laughing, cringing, and questioning the sanity of anyone who recommends it.

Tis the season to sleigh!

Thanks for reading everyone.

Merry Christmas!

Rock Zombie is published!

Finally, after months of me annoying people with semi-cryptic posts, snippets of random nonsense, and bizarre TikTok videos, my silly, gross, over-the-top, comedy horror – Rock Zombie – has shuffled off the mortal coil and invaded your shelves/Kindles.

But as with all things Finlayson, it hasn’t been a smooth journey. You may notice – to start with – that it is not yet Halloween. In fact, we are still a few days out from the publication date. The reason for this is a combination of impostor syndrome and impatience (and an idea from Dan). I got worried that if I published a horror novel ON Halloween it would be too late for anyone to give a stuff about. Silly, I know, but I likened it to releasing a Christmas novel on Christmas Day… who is going to read it?!

So, I brought the release date forward and instantly made a mess of things… the book vanished from all servers for a few days and I had a mini melt-down thinking I’d lost everything. But it really just boiled down to me being an idiot.

And then it was here!

Sort of!

For some reason known only to the Amazon overlords, my silly little, supposed-to-be-cheap, stuff-it-in-your-back-pocket-and-dog-ear-it, pulp-fiction of a novel was listed for $42 here in Australia! That’s insane! I set the price at $18.99! I wanted it to be less than $20 and Amazon bloody doubled it! I have reached out, I have tried to change it, but there is nothing I can do. From what I can gather from other frustrated indie authors on social media, it boils down to Amazon just not playing nice with other people. Simply put, they do it because they can.

The listing is fine in other countries and territories, but here in Australia, where I live and am likely to sell most books, it costs a fortune!

I’m gutted.

I have reached out to book shops – particularly Books@Stones in Brisbane – and hope they will stock it.

In the process of writing this I have just seen that The Nile have it on for the expected price! Happy days!

Update: For some reason, I cannot add The Nile link to my Books2Read profile. Ah, well. It’s never simple is it.

So, it’s out there. My silly little book that I’m super proud of… and I’m having a book launch on Saturday 9th November at the very cool Nosferatu Distillery, Bar and Cafe in Bowen Hills, Brisbane (and I won’t chicken out of this one).

I really hope you enjoy Rock Zombie for what it is… a silly, fun, gory little romp through ’90s nostalgia. If you do, please consider leaving a review on Goodreads or (shudder) Amazon. It really does make a difference to little plebs like me.

I am beyond grateful to everyone who reads my books. I love ya!

Cheers,

Al

Why I chose to self-publish Rock Zombie

TLDR; no-one else would, so I did it myself.

TLDR2.0; my wife told me to.

Rock Zombie has quite an interesting past. Once upon a time, it was scheduled to be published before The Book and the Blade (my debut), but due to a variety of reasons, it never quite worked out.

In preparing for this blog post, I checked my trusty spreadsheet, which is my equivalent of Stephen King’s ‘nail on the wall’, but instead of spiking publisher rejections on a nail, I organise them in a table and highlight in red when a story gets the brush off.

Like Rock Zombie, there is a lot of red.

So, let’s see. Rock Zombie has been submitted to:

  • 23 publishers
    • 8 said no
    • 10 didn’t respond
    • 3 said yes

Of those 3; 1 turned out to be a vanity press and wanted an author contribution of $4500 (now there’s some small print!), 1 pulled the plug during a run of edits because they didn’t want to risk the song lyrics (since removed), and 1… well, it just didn’t work out. I was gutted about the last one… to the point where I wanted to give up completely, but my wife told me to suck it up and self-publish. I dwelled on it for a long time, submitted to a few more places, tweaked the word count to try and force it through the door of others, and eventually came to the unerring (and some would say, obvious) conclusion that my wife was right.

There are other reasons to self-publish – not just matrimonial harmony – chief among them is complete creative control. I had a LOT of fun writing Rock Zombie and I wanted it to be a certain way. Various back-and-forths with publishers showed me that might be a little tricky. Everyone had a different idea of what this story was.

At it’s core, Rock Zombie is a shlock horror. Cheap thrills, big scares, gross humour, and a little heart. I’m aiming for an ’80s high-concept film style – terrorists seize tower, soldiers attacked by alien, three men take care of a baby – in this case, a ghost and a zombie come from the same body.

Rock Zombie should be a quick, entertaining read… a knackered and worn paperback stuffed in a back pocket and pulled out on a train… or abandoned in a pub after a quiet night suddenly gets out of hand. I want the cover to be ringed with beer stains and the pages to be turned down from over use. An easy, quick distraction in a world of bollocks.

Don’t get me wrong, I might not have accomplished that, and it certainly won’t please everyone, but this version of Rock Zombie (the one releasing on Halloween) is the story I wanted to tell all along. It’s a love-letter to the ’90s, to my childhood in the north east, to high concept films, grunge, and reading Stephen King when you’re far too young!

I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please let me know.

Cheers,

Al

Pre-orders available now

Rock Zombie – Available as a Smashwords pre-sale – read it now!

Full disclosure – I don’t really know what I’m doing. I imagine this will not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me. Rock Zombie is a new venture. I have self-published books using Amazon, and I have been lucky enough to be traditionally published (by the wonderful folks at Parliament House Press), but this is the first time I’ve tried to self-publish with expanded distribution… which these days just means ‘places other than Amazon’.

I used the platform Draft2Digital for this book and thanks to their internet jiggery-pokery-magic-trickery, Rock Zombie is available in a number of different bookshops and online retailers (well, it will be on Halloween).

One of those online spaces is Smashwords.

Smashwords, as you can see in the pic above, does ‘pre-sales’. This is not the same as a pre-order. From what I can gather, if you’re a member of Smashwords, you can buy Rock Zombie now… and read it now.

That’s a whole two weeks before Halloween you lucky ducks!

I don’t know why. I think the idea is to generate some buzz for the book before it comes out on general release… and I imagine it only really work for author’s with large and established fan-bases, but it’s there, and I have access to it, so I figure… what the hell?

So, if you’re a member of Smashwords and want early access, or you’re just dead keen to sink your teeth into a gory zombie/ghost horror, he’s the link…

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1608312

Cheers!

Rock Zombie – available for pre-order now!

Rock Zombie will be shuffling into the streets this Halloween. To avoid the horde, please consider placing a pre-order from any of the fine establishments listed on my Book2Read page… the link is below…

https://books2read.com/Rockzombie

Unfortunately, the Amazon link isn’t entirely accurate… it says ‘kindle’ but only the paperback is available for pre-order from Amazon at this time. The ebook will be available on the day of release… the 31st of October, 2024 (Yes, Halloween!)

All other non-Bezos companies have the ebook ready for pre-order. Go figure.

And to whet your whistle, why not check out this exceptional review from the wonderful Dave Musson (he of, Dave Reads King fame!)

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/6907859797

CLICK TO READ MORE

Rockefeller Copyright Laws!

Rock Zombie is an unkempt zombie graveyard of pop culture references and nods to ’90s culture. They are bursting through the pages like reanimated hands clawing towards the sky, but much like a teenager in a classic zombie horror, I have to be very careful where I tread.

Copyright laws are slathering ghouls just waiting to sneak up and devour an unsuspecting author who hasn’t looked over their shoulder.

Okay, that’s enough of the belaboured metaphor… the first draft of my silly little comedy/horror was littered with direct song lyrics, movie quotes, and famous lines from television shows, but that is very much a Donny Don’t.

Don’t do what Donny Don’t does.
The Simpson’s Season 5 Episode 8 – Boy-Scoutz ‘n the Hood

Funny, I can make direct references here, but absolutely NOT in a novel. In fact, I could get in all kinds of trouble. So, the book that exists now is a far different beast to the one I first wrote. There are absolutely no direct quotes of copyrighted lyrics in Rock Zombie, though there are references and nods… and the occasional sly wink. Song titles are okay – thank God, as every chapter of this little novel is the title of a well-known track from the era – but quoting song lyrics is not on. There are grey areas of course. Words like ‘satire’, ‘parody’, and ‘fair use’ get bandied around but I have to be super careful even there. Some bits and bobs are in the public domain but I still have to be very careful.

Editing has been a bitch.

Although, it has been quite fun steering my way around these copyright issues while maintaining the tone of the story. In order to help with that I fully eased in to sarcasm… and footnotes. There’s a chapter called ‘Rockefeller Skank’ after the famous Fat Boy Slim track. It’s a song that used to get belted out in nightclubs towards the end of the decade (for all I know, it still does). Hands were raised to the sweat-soaked ceiling and everyone would scream, “Right about now, the funk soul brother!” over and over again. There’s a scene in Rock Zombie where this happens, but in order to keep it kosher, I had my narrator say…

Hands were raised and everyone joined in the song’s catchy lyrics and still got them wrong*

“Right about then. The small punk mother!“

*not least due to copyright laws

The vibe is the same, the rhythm is the same, but the words are different. Sure, anyone who knows the song will know what I mean, but I haven’t directly quoted the lyrics. Believe me, I wish I could source permission for every song and release a version that contains them all, but it just isn’t possible. And look, I know my silly little novel is in no way a threat to copyright; it won’t draw any attention away from the original work (if anything, it might draw some small notice towards it) but as an indie author I just can’t take the risk.

So, if you’re reading this book and you come across something that makes you go, “Oh, that sounds familiar, I wonder if he meant…”

I probably did.

Probably.

ROCK ZOMBIE is out on HALLOWEEN!

Listen to the Mix-Tape (chapters) on SPOTIFY!