“It’s been a long time since I rock and rolled”

Or rather, it’s been a long time since I wrote a blog post. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing. Oh no. Writing is an itch I have to scratch. I’m always writing. Unfortunately, it’s the publishing side of things I struggle with! And the less said about marketing the better.

For example, since my last post I actually released a novella. Now, you’d think I’d make use of this website in order to advertise such a thing, but I only realised this morning I didn’t even have a post. That has since been fixed up and you can now find Egg right there at the top of the homepage. I’m pretty proud of that silly little story. It’s a bit of a love letter to the Alien franchise, to rock music, and to Yorkshire… three of my favourite things.

Now that’s done, I figured a little update might be in order. A stocktake if you will, to let you know where I am and what I’m working on. Or, more realistically, to keep tabs on myself.

The following is a list of books I’ve written and haven’t found a home for…

Never Have I Ever – a YA/NA urban fantasy about a group of friends meeting in their first year of university… a decade after mysterious dark-robed ‘watchers’ appeared throughout the world.

The Last Witch in Brisbane – an urban fantasy set in Brisbane about a young man who discovers he is a witch descended from a long line of European witches originally sent to Australia in a secret ship that followed behind the first fleet.

The Children of the Ninth – MG/YA about the famed Ninth Roman Legion who disappeared from the records sometime after the turn of the millennium. In this story, all the adults of the legion vanish in the north of Britain, leaving their children behind to fight and survive whatever curse hunts them.

William John Park and the NotHereHere – a MG story about a young boy whose family is cursed by a witch. She steals his father and freezes his mother. William has to venture into the magic and fantastical world of his own overgrown back garden to make everything right.

Cleopatra Elizabeth Jones and the NotHereHere – a sequel to the above. This one follows a book-obsessed young girl in Melbourne whose parents barely even know she exists. Her life takes a turn when a witch moves into the neighbourhood.

The Dragoman – historical fantasy set in Egypt during the 1800s. It follows a young man cursed by the jinn as he enters the employ of upper-class English explorers. Together, they search for treasure in the tombs of the ancients but unlock demons instead. This is based on my own ancestor.

Shadows in the Sand – A unit of the famed LRDG find themselves up against an unnatural enemy in the North African desert during WW2. This one is loosely based on my grandfather’s experiences in the war and is perhaps the most important thing I have written (personally speaking).

I Draw the Line at Vampires – Arthur Crazy #4. This one had a publication deal that fell apart. It is the fourth in the Arthur Crazy series of books and sees Arthur (and Steve) taking a business trip to the famously vampiric Whitby. Unlike the other Arthur books, this one is written in the first person (from Arthur’s point of view) as an homage to Bram Stoker’s Dracula. It is by far the longest in the Arthur Crazy series and actually ties the Arthur story into The Dragoman and Shadows in the Sand.

Katheryn Howard: The Motorbike Riding Ghost Queen of Yorkshire – a graphic novel script for the story of the ghost of Katheryn Howard. This ties her appearances in the Arthur Crazy series together and explains how she went from a ghost trapped in King’s Manor in York to a motorbike riding badass patrolling the North Yorkshire Moors.

Girt By Sea and a Zombie-Proof Fence – comedy horror. The whole world has been overrun by a zombie apocalypse… except for Australia. It follows a school teacher who is bitten by a priest and quarantined on Christmas Island. There, they learn the virus has mutated into animals and they must make their way back to the mainland in order to help prevent an outbreak.

and finally…

Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Orcs! – a satirical fantasy following the adventures of two orc friends as the world around them descends into chaos following the defeat of the latest Dark Lord.

But I won’t say too much about this one… because I am going to publish it myself later this year. Watch this space!

That’s a lot, isn’t it! I mean, that’s really a lot of books. I just did some quick calculations – that’s nearly 800,000 words! And it doesn’t even include all the stories I started and didn’t finish. These are all complete novels. I reckon if you add the drafts, and the ideas, and the scrapped beginnings, you’re looking at well over a million unread words.

I don’t know whether I’m proud, mortified, or just plain exhausted!

The One Where I was a Guest Author at my Local Library… 10,000 Miles Away!

A few weeks ago, I had the honour of being a guest author at an event hosted by Redcar and Cleveland Libraries. I grew up in Redcar and set my comedy/horror novella, Rock Zombie, there. It is my hometown, it is where I went to school, and where most of my family still live. I love the place. I was contacted by the lovely Debbie, who found my book and asked if I would be interested in giving a little talk at an event for local authors. I was thrilled. But then the reality of logistics kind of got in the way… ten thousand miles’ worth of ‘logistics’ that is.

I live in Australia now but the idea of giving a talk in my local library was too good to pass up. Thankfully, Debbie is a legend and quickly got to work organising a Zoom/Skype/Teams/Whatever-it’s-called alternative to an in-person show… we even had a little practice the night before… and then it was time for the big day.

I can’t tell you how much this meant to me.

Actually, that’s bollocks. I should at least try, I am a writer after all!

It meant a lot.

I was one of those kids who just didn’t really know where I fit in. The 90s was a bizarre time to be a teenager and I was, in my own words, a bit of a gobshite. I danced that precarious teenage dance of trying to fit in everywhere, and with everyone, and never quite getting any of it right. I flitted about all over town, between all the different groups and substrata of society, but always at the centre of this maelstrom of angst, hormones, Nirvana, and Spice Girls, there was Redcar Library.

The funny thing is, Redcar Library as I remember it sadly no longer exists, and the ‘local author’ event actually took place in Loftus, a few miles away… which also happens to be where my dad lives. I’ll be honest, I was a bit gutted about this, as I think some small part of me had always dreamed about returning to that original library as an author, but that’s a bit hard to do after it’s been knocked down!

I was also getting cold feet before the event because I wondered how many people would actually turn up. Due to the time difference, my slot was midday (9pm for me) and, let’s be honest, I am absolutely NOT suitable for kids! Plus, most of my friends and family were on holiday so I genuinely thought there was a good chance it would just be me, Debbie, and Dad.

When the camera turned on… it was indeed me, Debbie, and Dad, but also my Uncle Mike (who I dedicated the third Arthur Crazy novel to (The Saint and the Shadowman), and another lady whose name I (disgracefully) forget. A few minutes later we were joined by a few more and we got going.

And then a giant red-headed Viking walked in.

My best friend from school… Phil… turned up and sat at the back… my phone buzzed…

I relaxed then (the wine helped!) and had a bloody great hour chatting away with lovely people while trying to keep some of those embarrassing teenage secrets still secret from my dad and uncle. Phil, of course, asked how much of the book was based on personal experiences because only the absolute best of mates have zero hesitation dropping you right in it!

At one point, I confessed to ‘killing real people’ in Rock Zombie by taking surnames and forenames of people who pissed me off and putting them together. There was a titter of laughter from the crowd, a few seconds of pause, and then Phil burst out laughing when he worked two of them out!

I read a short passage in which the main character, Rob, runs through Redcar (after a horde of zombies, of course) and retraces his childhood memories. Most of those childhood memories were my own, and it was bloody wonderful seeing my dad and uncle in the front row nodding along (and laughing in all the right places!)

Debbie MC’d wonderfully and there were lots of insightful questions from her and the people in the room. It’s funny, but if I was asked them again I would probably give different answers. Phil, who knows me well, asked, “Apart from Terry Pratchett and Stephen King which other authors have inspired you?” I talked about Roald Dahl and loving his genius ability to craft a story… usually by putting the main character in danger and getting rid of the safety-nets. It’s an answer I stand by but I could have talked about anyone from a lifetime of reading… Cornwell, Gemmell, Blyton, Morrison, Tolkien, Herriot, Bryson, Le Guin, Stoker, Shelley, Lee, Hinton. The list goes on.

My uncle asked me if I plan my stories out and I had to confess that I barely know what is going to happen before the words appear on the screen. There are some occasions when I know the end, or the beginning, or a scene, but it is rarely – if ever – something I can control. And that’s my absolute favourite thing about the whole writing experience. The simple fact is, I do not see twists coming… even when I write them. That’s magic!

One of the highlights of the chat though was the lovely lady (a photographer) who told a story of being on South Gare (near the sea) and suddenly finding herself in the midst of a horde of zombies! Apparently, there is a decent sized cosplay/roleplay group in the local area. I’ll have to get in touch!

This was a really wonderful and unique experience and I’m incredibly grateful to Debbie for organising it and for everyone who came to listen and have a chat.

Thanks for reading!

Support your local library!

Rock Zombie is published!

Finally, after months of me annoying people with semi-cryptic posts, snippets of random nonsense, and bizarre TikTok videos, my silly, gross, over-the-top, comedy horror – Rock Zombie – has shuffled off the mortal coil and invaded your shelves/Kindles.

But as with all things Finlayson, it hasn’t been a smooth journey. You may notice – to start with – that it is not yet Halloween. In fact, we are still a few days out from the publication date. The reason for this is a combination of impostor syndrome and impatience (and an idea from Dan). I got worried that if I published a horror novel ON Halloween it would be too late for anyone to give a stuff about. Silly, I know, but I likened it to releasing a Christmas novel on Christmas Day… who is going to read it?!

So, I brought the release date forward and instantly made a mess of things… the book vanished from all servers for a few days and I had a mini melt-down thinking I’d lost everything. But it really just boiled down to me being an idiot.

And then it was here!

Sort of!

For some reason known only to the Amazon overlords, my silly little, supposed-to-be-cheap, stuff-it-in-your-back-pocket-and-dog-ear-it, pulp-fiction of a novel was listed for $42 here in Australia! That’s insane! I set the price at $18.99! I wanted it to be less than $20 and Amazon bloody doubled it! I have reached out, I have tried to change it, but there is nothing I can do. From what I can gather from other frustrated indie authors on social media, it boils down to Amazon just not playing nice with other people. Simply put, they do it because they can.

The listing is fine in other countries and territories, but here in Australia, where I live and am likely to sell most books, it costs a fortune!

I’m gutted.

I have reached out to book shops – particularly Books@Stones in Brisbane – and hope they will stock it.

In the process of writing this I have just seen that The Nile have it on for the expected price! Happy days!

Update: For some reason, I cannot add The Nile link to my Books2Read profile. Ah, well. It’s never simple is it.

So, it’s out there. My silly little book that I’m super proud of… and I’m having a book launch on Saturday 9th November at the very cool Nosferatu Distillery, Bar and Cafe in Bowen Hills, Brisbane (and I won’t chicken out of this one).

I really hope you enjoy Rock Zombie for what it is… a silly, fun, gory little romp through ’90s nostalgia. If you do, please consider leaving a review on Goodreads or (shudder) Amazon. It really does make a difference to little plebs like me.

I am beyond grateful to everyone who reads my books. I love ya!

Cheers,

ARC Readers… a heads-up!

Hi folks, I’ll be putting a call out this Sunday for anyone interested in being an ARC Reader for Rock Zombie.

ARC stands for Advance Reader Copy and is an initiative to get early copies of books into the hands of reviewers in order to generate a bit of buzz before the official release date. True, these are usually organised by professional companies and people who know what they are doing. I… am neither. I’m winging it, and pretty much making this all up as I go along (not unlike my stories). However, inspired by Amanda Palmer’s The Art of Asking, I figured where is the harm in doing just that… asking.

So, if you’re a book reviewer, podcaster, YouTuber, BookTokker, Bookstagrammer (or any other word that I’ve only really just learned about), or you just like reading grungy comedy/horrors and would like to have a shufy at the advance copy before publication (usually in exchange for kind words and/or reviews… or complete silence if you think it’s shit) then please keep an eye on my social on Sunday.

If you have any questions, folks, just reach out.

Cheers!

What it’s all about…

A little bit more info about Rock Zombie. To start with, here’s every author’s worst nightmare… the blurb… Hey, you painstakingly wrote, edited, polished, cried, and bled over 60k words… now summarise it in 50!

“Tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be… Kurt Cobain!”

Robbie Neville’s big break on Stars in Their Eyes was supposed to launch him into rock stardom.

Instead, it launched him into the afterlife.

Rob is dead. But his body didn’t get the memo.

Now he’s spending Saturday night trying to stop his reanimated corpse from kickstarting a zombie apocalypse… which is really hard to do when you’re a ghost.

With enough 90s nostalgia to make you dig out your old mixtapes, follow Rob (both of them) as he faces down hungry zombies, scared scallies, horny barmaids, and the ultimate question:

Can you still become a rock star when you’re dead?

Rock Zombie is a bad-taste, grungy, comedy/horror, set in the ’90s about a wannabe rock star who dies and comes back as a ghost while his body reanimates as a zombie. That’s not a spoiler, not really, it can’t be when the main character dies in the first few pages!

This book is a love-letter to ’90s culture; the music, the films, the TV shows, books, games, and comics… the whole scene… everything that influenced me when I was a teen.

The story is short and fast, and follows the ghost of Rob as he tries to stop his body from kick-starting a zombie apocalypse in his home town. Each chapter is named after a well-known song of the time, which you may have noticed if you’ve been following my social media… I’ve cheekily been posting a chapter title every day since the start of the month. Don’t worry, it won’t give the game away.

Well, not much anyway.

I hope you enjoy it.

Come as you are

Easter eggs and clues and things…

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K!

Or, more accurately, I’m up to something. If you see a little red-headed blue fella anywhere on my website, he’s worth a poke. If you do happen to give him a nudge, you’ll find yourself magically transported back in time (or to another page, but what is life without a little whimsy?)

Here you’ll find something that looks a bit like this…

It should be familiar to people of a certain generation and a quick look around this faux-MySpace page will drop one or two more clues for upcoming shenanigans.

For the next [insert length of time] I will be making daily TikTok, Reels, and videos on Stories, plus Instagram posts, Facebook posts and the occasional blog post here.

Some of you already know what I’m up to (because you’re involved in one way or another) and I hope you enjoy the ride.

For everyone else,

Come as you are!

Cheers folks,

Amanda Palmer and the Art of Asking

I really like Amanda Palmer. She appears both genuine and nuts in equal measure, which is a superb combination. I first came across her on Twitter (before it became a cesspit of hate and ignorance) and I was really drawn by her TED Talk called ‘The Art of Asking’. Being British, I’m not exactly tip-top at asking for help, and there’s a point in the video where she mentioned a member of a support band feeling uncomfortable because it ‘feels like begging.’ I get that. That resonated with me.

But then I’m also reminded of my mate Grant who talks about the community of writers, and artists, and creatives. Grant kick-started the Brisbane Writers Crew meetings a few years ago and a group of us catch up every month to drink coffee/beer and talk all things creative. I’m still very much a newbie because my attendance it pretty piss poor but It’s amazing. I’ve met some lovely people there and many rocked up to my debut book launch (which also happened to be my 40th birthday!) and it was a great time.

Things like that wouldn’t happen without other people.

And I think that’s the point of Amanda Palmer’s video/philosophy (to my shame, I am yet to read the book – The Art of Asking – though it is sitting on my shelf). Isaac Newton said he saw so far by ‘standing on the shoulders of giants‘ and Tom Hanks attributed all his success to ‘his wife, family, friends, and colleagues.‘ All of my books are dedicated to people who have helped me, and my wife, Kel, is at the absolute epicentre of all of this. None of it would have happened without her. Stephen King wrote, ‘whenever I see a first novel dedicated to a wife (or a husband), I smile and think, There’s someone who knows. Writing is a lonely job. Having someone who believes in you makes a lot of difference,‘ and I am beyond lucky (and grateful) to have people who support and believe in me.

So, I’m about to do something that really puts me a little out of my comfort zone. I’m going to ask for help.

On the 31st of October this year (yep, Halloween!) I am going to self-publish one of my novels. This one is ridiculous, and silly, and gross, and perhaps bad-taste, and probably a little funny, and maybe even with a smidge of heart in certain places, and I can’t wait for people to read it. I’m not doing crowdfunding or anything like that (I’m still steeped in Britishness when it comes to that sort of thing), but I am going to ask people if they would kindly share things…

Starting in September, there will be book announcements, cover reveals, blurb reveals, calls for ARC readers and reviews, and a few other bits n bobs that I’m playing close to the chest for now… but I’m hoping the next two months will be really fun, and that you might come along for the ride.

The book in question has had an interesting history… it has been signed by two publishers in the past but never quite made it over the finish line (one went bust and one wanted me to take out all the swearing) so I’ve decided to roll the dice and give it my best shot.

So, I guess ‘ask #1’ is – ‘do you have any advice?’ 😀

Thanks for reading, watch this space!

(As I sat here and wrote this, my lovely wife is on the seat opposite me reading through the final edition of the book. She’s amazing!)

Cheers!

Book release, book shops, book launch, and talking bollocks – my week after publication

Well, what a week it has been! My second novel, The Sword and the Hounds, was published on the 23rd of July and got shared around a bit on social media by some amazing and lovely people, though from my end, it wasn’t quite the all-singing, all-dancing affair I had in mind… largely due to my youngest kid being a bit unwell. I had every intention of doing… something, but the day itself sort of went by in a bit of a blur. I walked the dog as I normally do, talked some bollocks on TikTok as I normally do, replied to some lovely messages, got ready for work… and didn’t go.

So, it’s book publication day, you find yourself off work because your boy is poorly, what would you do? That’s right… I spent the entire day sitting in front of a fire, editing a novel, and making plans to self-publish at Halloween, but that’s a different story for a different time (literally). Back to the week that was…

MY BOOK IS PUBLISHED!

I am absolutely over the moon, although I’m still yet to receive my six-figure contract and movie deal, which is a bit strange. I think the postman might have lost it.

I am, however, eternally grateful for the amazing support I have from family and friends… and some lovely people I’ve only ever ‘met’ online. The Sword and the Hounds has been really well received… by those able to get access to it. Because that has been a nightmare!

You may have heard that Booktopia (the biggest online book shop in Australia) collapsed and Amazon pounced on that news in the only way Amazon knows how… by cranking the price of small press and indie books in the Australian marketplace. That was gutting… to see my little novel priced so high and knowing what that means. And there’s nothing I can do about it. My lovely publisher was just as shocked as me. So, I spent the first few days after publication trying to find anywhere that might sell my novel and not rip people off. Thankfully, there are a great number of really cool independent bookshops who have the book listed online so all was not lost.

And then… drum roll… W.H. Smith listed it on their website! I was gobsmacked! Smiths is an institution of the British high street! I boasted all over the place about that one… and then it got taken down! I have no idea why. It came, it went, it came back again, my sister ordered it, it went again. Whether or not my sis ever gets her hands on the book remains to be seen! (sorry).

But speaking of Smiths… I got talking to the manager of the branch in Richmond (where the book is set) and he is going to try and get it on the shelves there. THAT is amazing! I told my mam (I was ‘fizzing up and busting’ as she likes to say) and she told her friends… the wonderful ‘Stray ladies’ (best not to ask). One lovely lady, Janice, even went to look, bless her, but it was only a few days after publication and not in stock. I don’t know if that one will eventuate… but if it does, I’ll be begging people to take photos of my book on the shelf! That will be a dream come true.

After that, I spent a good few hours (and god-knows how much on the phone bill) calling other UK bookshops… with zero success. One guy told me he receives between 3-4 thousand requests a month! That’s insane… and a bit of a kick in the tits… but I guess I can’t feel too bad about it.

On day three, the Kindle version of The Sword and the Hounds climbed the charts in ‘Ghost Horror’ on the Australian market and hung around number 3 for a very short while… that was utter magic, and so I made a load more phone calls trying to ride on the coattails of that momentary success… again, no luck 😀

On day four or five, my Goodreads account got hacked… or a gremlin was let loose, I don’t know. It was a bit of struggle getting that sorted, but when I did (thanks to the wonderful ‘librarians’ at Goodreads) I found some reviews sitting there for the new book! 2 x 5 star and 1 x 4 star! Magic!

My lovely (and patient) wife organised a book launch and I sent the wrong date out to everyone at work. I then sent them all another email with the correct date. And then a few days later I cancelled the whole thing. To tell the truth, I don’t really know why. I think the first one was such a huge moment for me that I got into my own head a bit. Maybe something more low key might be in order this time round. We’ll see.

So, what else have I been up to? Well, I’ve spent countless hours trying to create ads for the book but all I’ve really ended up doing is scrolling through photos and videos of our time in Richmond and Yorkshire and giving myself crippling homesickness. That then leads to thoughts of moving back, which leads to thoughts of finances, which leads to thoughts of ‘well, if I sell a million books I won’t have to worry about it, I can just wander around Yorkshire like the next James Herriot’, which leads to thoughts of ‘you’re a dickhead’, so I distract myself with the Olympics, which leads to thoughts of ‘am I really this old?’. It’s quite the roller coaster.

BUT THEN I got in touch with an absolute legend on Instagram… one of my favourite accounts… and my publisher sent him my books! That’s exciting, and more than a little scary. Details to follow soon.

A few days ago, I had an interview with a lovely reporter for a local paper, which was fantastic. I haven’t really mentioned that to anyone (until now). I’m just going to see what happens when the paper gets put on the table in the staff room. I’ll keep you posted.

And over the last few days, those friends and family who ordered the book have started to receive it in the post and my inbox now has some cracking photos of The Sword and the Hounds out in the world… and like a crack-whore looking for a fix, I want more! So, I’ve been writing. And then I realise I’m ignoring advertising, so I go back to that, and I end up ignoring the writing and I get nothing done at all, and… , blimey, it’s noisy in here! Thank God for the Olympics and All Creatures Great and Small.

So, here we are… a week or so later trying not to metaphorically peer over everyone’s shoulder to see if they love or hate my book (and therefore, tacitly, me)…like some right needy dickhead! But there is a part in this story I just can’t wait for folk to read… especially those who read the first book and told me they liked a particularly character… something happens!

BLANK comes BLANK as a BLANK and BLANK BLANK BLANK.

If you crack my code, hit me up, I want to talk about it!

Thanks for reading folks! And thank you all for an awesome week.

The Sword and the Hounds… OUT NOW!

The Sword and the Hounds – the who, what, when, where and why?

Tomorrow is the 23rd of July 2024 and the day my second novel will be released into the wild. To say I’m a little nervous would be an understatement, but I am also very excited. Quite a few people read The Book and the Blade (the first in the Arthur Crazy series) and the reviews are (mostly) positive… except for one bloke who took exception to the fact the main character smokes too much and drinks too much. I mean, that’s kind of the point, but reader spaces are for readers, not for writers. He is absolutely entitled to his opinion. But I digress. I wonder if he’ll read what happens next? Probably not.

The Sword and the Hounds follows directly on from the events of The Book and the Blade and tells the story after the story, so to speak. If The Book and the Blade was about Arthur getting to grips with an ability to communicate with the deceased, The Sword and the Hounds is about him coming to terms with the wider implications that the dead (and assorted bit n bobs n beasts) exist in the first place. It is the hangover after the big night out. There are… injuries. There are… gaps.

I wrote The Sword and the Hounds when we lived in York in 2019… just before COVID hit. If nothing else, it is a love-letter to the town of Richmond and the folklore of Yorkshire. As one of the characters expresses…

It’s Yorkshire. We’re all a little pagan around here.

But really it exists because I fell in love with Arthur and I fell in love with writing. Something clicked in me when I wrote The Book and the Blade and I knew I’d never look back. Even if they never see the light of day and no one reads them, I’ll never stop writing these stories. I’m not sure I can. Full disclosure… there are four complete Arthur novels, two complete tie-in novels, one obscure novel ‘set in the same world’, a script for a graphic novel, a half-written plan for the fifth, and a series of random notes for the sixth and seventh. If you’re along for the ride… it’s a long one… and it’s going to get bumpy! I hope you enjoy it!

But therein lies the rub… Amazon are not making it easy for people (mainly in Australia) to access my books. The price is astronomical and there is nothing my publisher and I can do about it… other than direct you elsewhere.

That’s the who (me), the what (The Sword and the Hounds), and the when (tomorrow) taken care of so now for the ‘where‘.

In a perfect world… your local independent bookshop. The more mysterious and confusing (and possibly a little creepy) the better. One of those old type of bookshops that vanishes like the emporium in the movie, Gremlins. You know what I mean… with corridors and stairs and hidden rooms that will eat you given half a chance. You go in aged 21 and come out with white hair and a sack full of books. Perfect. But if you don’t have one of them… please try my publisher… Parliament House Press. They distribute worldwide.

If you’re in Brisbane, I know Books@Stones have copies of The Book and the Blade in stock… and if they’re still there this time next week they’ll be signed (if they let me scribble in them) and they also have an online listing for The Sword and the Hounds. You’ll be able to order it in and support a local business at the same time. And THAT is the why! Galactic Overlord Bezos can’t have everything, surely!

Any local bookshop should be able to order The Sword and the Hounds… and in a perfect world, if enough people do, they might consider a permanent stock.

One last note for those in the U.K. – – – and this made me do a little happy dance. W.H. Smiths have an online listing for The Sword and the Hounds! That is an absolute dream come true for me! I loved shopping in Smiths when I was a kid (and an adult!) and the thought that you can order my book and pop in to pick it up is the stuff of “pinch-me-I’m-dreaming” fantasy. And I think it all has to do with one dude… the manager of Smiths in Richmond. He was really keen to get the book on the shelf and so we chatted a bit and he took my details. I called him yesterday to say thanks when I noticed the online listing (horrifyingly getting his surname wrong because I’m a forgetful nobhead) and, bizarrely, he said he wasn’t sure it was him. He has begun discussion with head office but couldn’t remember if he’d passed on my name or the name of the book. So… I reckon it is him… it must be… but if it isn’t, that means my little book got on the list at Smith organically. Which is also exceptionally cool. But I include this little anecdote because it illustrates something really important that hits every part of who, what, when, where, and why… every aspect of what I might call success has been achieved thanks to other people. People who read, who support, who encourage, who advise, who critique, and even people who tell me my characters smoke too much.

So, I’ll end this by saying a very heartfelt thank you to you all. If you’re reading this, I have no doubt that I owe you a debt of gratitude. Thank you!

Here’s looking forward to tomorrow and all the days after!

Cheers!

(I promise not to be too needy and metaphorically read over your shoulder over the coming weeks. Well, I’ll try really hard!)

The best bad review

Let me preface this by saying reviews are for readers, not for writers. As much as we needy pen-pushers are desperate for them and exceedingly grateful anytime a person takes the time to write a few words about our books, it’s not really our space to be in. Once a book is out in the wild, it no longer belongs to the author. Reviews are designed to inform other readers about a person’s thoughts and opinions on a book, and whether or not they believe it is worth picking up. The author has no control over that and nor should they.

A little caveat here, there is a trend in some circles of the indie book world to tag authors in negative reviews, and I’ve even seen some reviewers demand authors change aspects of the novel in certain ways because “it’ll be better”. Please don’t do that. That’s a dick move. Once the book is out there, it’s out there. For better or worse.

And that brings me to the point of this little blog post. As much as I firmly believe in what I wrote above, I am also one of those needy pen-pushers desperate for validation and you better believe I’ve read every single review of everything I’ve ever written.

It’s a sort of Catch-22 narcissism. Who’d be a writer, right?

First of all, thank you! Thank you so much to every single person who has read my stuff, and an extra special thanks with a cherry on the top if you left a review… it means the world to me, but I want to talk about the worst review I got. No, not the one that simply said “do not read this.” That one was magic! This was a review that went into a bit more detail.

Essentially, the reviewer didn’t think the book was funny, and that’s his prerogative. It kind of reminds me of Jimmy Carr when someone heckled, “when does the comedy start?” It’s all subjective, if you don’t think something is funny then it isn’t. And that’s unfortunate. As Jimmy said, “you’ve paid the price, bought the ticket, you didn’t like it, you’ve had a disaster. Life is unfair.” Or something like that. I can’t fault that. But then the reviewer went on to say that the main character, Arthur, is a heavy drinker and smoker and therefore not really deserving of sympathy, and again, that’s totally fair. But to me, that’s the whole point of Arthur, and indeed, the whole point of much of what I write.

I love putting ordinary people into extraordinary circumstances and seeing how they handle it.

Arthur isn’t supposed to be sympathetic. He’s a bit of a nob, really. He’s selfish in many ways and he has a lot of vices. He’s definitely narcissistic and yes, he drinks too much, and smokes too much, but he is just a man, and like all men, he is actually still the same confused little boy he always was, just trapped now in a man’s body in a supposedly adult world. Arthur is a man who finds himself suddenly surrounded by ghosts, and demons, and utterly bizarre circumstances when all he really wants to do is have a Cajun Chicken Panini and go home.

SPOILERS

At the end of The Book and the Blade, after Arthur’s world has gone completely tits up, he goes running home to his mum and dad… and that’s where The Sword and the Hounds comes in. The sequel, due for publication on the 23rd July by the lovely people at Parliament House Press, finds Arthur still living at home six months later and trying to make sense of the world. Does he still drink too much? Does he still smoke too much? Is he still a bit of a dick? Well, you’ll have to wait and see. But the dead aren’t done with him yet so hopefully he’s learned a thing or two.

There are a total of four Arthur books (and I’m working on more) and if he was the same in all of them I think it would be a bit boring because that’s not how life works. He should grow, he should develop and mature, but also, he’s bound to relapse and fall into old habits occasionally, right? After all, he is just an ordinary bloke trying his best.

Like all of us, really.

So, thank you to the reviewer for reading The Book and the Blade and taking the time to leave a review. I’m sorry it wasn’t really for you, but you can’t win them all.

And here’s to everyone who read it and enjoyed it… thank you… with cherries on top!

Strap in… there’s a lot more to come!

Cheers,

_{Oh, and if you’re interested, I also waffle on about this sort of stuff over on TikTok. I know, it’s a young person’s game over there, but it’s really just me talking shit while walking my dog.}

@alexfinlaysonauthor
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