Or rather, it’s been a long time since I wrote a blog post. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing. Oh no. Writing is an itch I have to scratch. I’m always writing. Unfortunately, it’s the publishing side of things I struggle with! And the less said about marketing the better.
For example, since my last post I actually released a novella. Now, you’d think I’d make use of this website in order to advertise such a thing, but I only realised this morning I didn’t even have a post. That has since been fixed up and you can now find Egg right there at the top of the homepage. I’m pretty proud of that silly little story. It’s a bit of a love letter to the Alien franchise, to rock music, and to Yorkshire… three of my favourite things.
Now that’s done, I figured a little update might be in order. A stocktake if you will, to let you know where I am and what I’m working on. Or, more realistically, to keep tabs on myself.
The following is a list of books I’ve written and haven’t found a home for…
Never Have I Ever – a YA/NA urban fantasy about a group of friends meeting in their first year of university… a decade after mysterious dark-robed ‘watchers’ appeared throughout the world.
The Last Witch in Brisbane – an urban fantasy set in Brisbane about a young man who discovers he is a witch descended from a long line of European witches originally sent to Australia in a secret ship that followed behind the first fleet.
The Children of the Ninth – MG/YA about the famed Ninth Roman Legion who disappeared from the records sometime after the turn of the millennium. In this story, all the adults of the legion vanish in the north of Britain, leaving their children behind to fight and survive whatever curse hunts them.
William John Park and the NotHereHere – a MG story about a young boy whose family is cursed by a witch. She steals his father and freezes his mother. William has to venture into the magic and fantastical world of his own overgrown back garden to make everything right.
Cleopatra Elizabeth Jones and the NotHereHere – a sequel to the above. This one follows a book-obsessed young girl in Melbourne whose parents barely even know she exists. Her life takes a turn when a witch moves into the neighbourhood.
The Dragoman – historical fantasy set in Egypt during the 1800s. It follows a young man cursed by the jinn as he enters the employ of upper-class English explorers. Together, they search for treasure in the tombs of the ancients but unlock demons instead. This is based on my own ancestor.
Shadows in the Sand – A unit of the famed LRDG find themselves up against an unnatural enemy in the North African desert during WW2. This one is loosely based on my grandfather’s experiences in the war and is perhaps the most important thing I have written (personally speaking).
I Draw the Line at Vampires – Arthur Crazy #4. This one had a publication deal that fell apart. It is the fourth in the Arthur Crazy series of books and sees Arthur (and Steve) taking a business trip to the famously vampiric Whitby. Unlike the other Arthur books, this one is written in the first person (from Arthur’s point of view) as an homage to Bram Stoker’s Dracula. It is by far the longest in the Arthur Crazy series and actually ties the Arthur story into The Dragoman and Shadows in the Sand.
Katheryn Howard: The Motorbike Riding Ghost Queen of Yorkshire – a graphic novel script for the story of the ghost of Katheryn Howard. This ties her appearances in the Arthur Crazy series together and explains how she went from a ghost trapped in King’s Manor in York to a motorbike riding badass patrolling the North Yorkshire Moors.
Girt By Sea and a Zombie-Proof Fence – comedy horror. The whole world has been overrun by a zombie apocalypse… except for Australia. It follows a school teacher who is bitten by a priest and quarantined on Christmas Island. There, they learn the virus has mutated into animals and they must make their way back to the mainland in order to help prevent an outbreak.
and finally…
Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Orcs! – a satirical fantasy following the adventures of two orc friends as the world around them descends into chaos following the defeat of the latest Dark Lord.
But I won’t say too much about this one… because I am going to publish it myself later this year. Watch this space!
That’s a lot, isn’t it! I mean, that’s really a lot of books. I just did some quick calculations – that’s nearly 800,000 words! And it doesn’t even include all the stories I started and didn’t finish. These are all complete novels. I reckon if you add the drafts, and the ideas, and the scrapped beginnings, you’re looking at well over a million unread words.
I don’t know whether I’m proud, mortified, or just plain exhausted!