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The First One of 2024
Good morning lovely people, and welcome to a random and unexpected blog post… my first of 2024, and let’s be honest, my first in a long time. This poor neglected little website does not get a whole lot of attention and I really ought to remedy that.
So, let’s recap 2023:
- Reindeer Games did quite well in the Christmas of 2022 and so the start of 2023 saw a number of lovely reviews finding their way onto Amazon and Goodreads. That was awesome, and I’m incredibly grateful to everyone who read and supported my silly little Reindeer murdery self-published novella.
- The Book and the Blade was released by Parliament House Press! My debut novel! A dream come true.
- The book launch took place at Netherworld in Brisbane on my 41st birthday and we had an absolute ball! I met some amazing people there, including some lovely members of the Brisbane Writers Crew.
- I actually managed to get to a couple of Brisbane Writers Crew catch-ups, which were great, but my attendance was pretty poor at best (not a fan of driving in the city!) I’ll attempt to fix that in 2024.
- Albert the Great Australian Dragon – illustrated by the wonderfully talented Amy Carter was published at Easter.
- The publisher who had signed Rock Zombie sadly pulled the plug (well… stopped being a publisher altogether!)
- Book shop appearance at the excellent Highlands Books in Emerald!
- Wrote two stories (and narrated them!) for Pleased! A Beatles inspired anthology edited by the awesome Gayle Ramage.
- Had two stories published in the amazing Australian horror anthology, Nightmare Fuel, courtesy of the wonderful Emma Nayfie.
- The opening chapter of my comedy/fantasy novel, Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Orcs?! was read out by the exceptional lads of The Failing Writers Podcast.
- My Christmas ghost story, In The House of Trembling Madness, was also read out in the Christmas special of the same pod, thanks lads!
- Impromptu book signing at Book Face Orion, Springfield!
- Reindeer Games 2: Rein Harder with a Vengeance was released for Christmas and did quite well… though not as well as Reindeer Games 1 (for the second year running!)
- The Sword and the Hounds cover reveal!
- And I wrote three novels, two novellas, seven short stories, submitted to publishers twenty-one times, got four acceptances (short stories), twelve rejections, and radio silence from the rest…oh, and you know, went to work and earned a living and whatnot (plus moved house…and got bitten by a snake…and went through a tornado…but I did get a full size pool table for next to nothing so happy days!)
Damn. That’s a big year. So, what’s next?
Well, The Sword and the Hounds will be published in April, so I’m very much looking forward to that. If Rock Zombie doesn’t find a home by the middle of the year I’ve decided to self-publish it for Halloween. I wrote myself into a corner with Reindeer Games, so I’m going to have to write Reindeer Games 3: Sleigh by December. I’m also working on a series of Easter stories in the same vein, but that’ll be for 2025. This year I want to finish writing the ‘unnamed WW2’ novel I’ve had on the go for a year, create an Arthur Crazy graphic novel tie-in (to further explain an event that happens in The Sword and the Hounds), and get started on Arthur Crazy #5. I’d also like to find homes for The Dragoman and Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Orcs?! So, you know, nothing crazy 😀
Thanks for reading, folks!
The Reality of Being an International*, Bestselling**, Award-Winning*** Author!
*I’m from England, I live in Australia, and my publisher is American. By default, I have sold books to an international market!
**For one moment of one day, the digital sales of my book got to Number 2 in a very specific category.
***Entirely fictional…I just wanted to use the ‘rule of three’ in the title. It looks better.
So, the reality then, because that’s what we’re left with…is that nothing much has changed at all. In fact, to paraphrase Arnold Rimmer, the thought occurs that we haven’t budged a smegging inch! Well, that’s what it feels like. I know I have a book out there. Two in fact. Three if you include novellas. Four if you include anthologies. But life trundles on as it ever did. Not for me the rabid auctioning off of my rights to the highest bidder…I’m just going to work, doing what I always do, and complaining about not having the time or energy to do what I want to do…what I love. Because I love writing stories. And I want people to read them and to get some semblance of entertainment from them. But lately there has been a little misconception doing the rounds among some family, friends, and acquaintances. It’s quite funny actually, but I think it’s about time I set the record straight, because the misconception, bizarrely, is that I’ve made it! (Whatever that means!)
I’ll admit, from a distance, it might look pretty cool. I released a book, lots of people came to the launch, I did a little happy dance about selling out every copy, then I did a bookshop signing and the same thing happened there, and then I bleated all over social media about the charts, then I bought a guitar (with my earnings), and then we moved house and now live on acreage with the most ridiculous views.
So, I can see the problem. From the outside, it does look kind of impressive, but the other day someone asked me if I was going to quit work and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why.
They thought I was rich!
I laughed so hard I nearly shat! (super special brownie points to anyone who knows this gross but excellent reference).
The reality is I’ve sold a few hundred books, made a few hundred dollars (I get 10% or so of physical sales, it’s not a lot), the guitar was dirt cheap, and we moved house because we’re romantic idiots with more passion than sense.
But there is another side to this somewhat narcissistic tale. I am, indeed, an international, best-selling, award-winning author! Well, two out of three isn’t bad. But I did write a book or two. People have bought them, read them, enjoyed them, and reviewed them. And for one brief shining moment, this happened…
But more than that, I’ve had the most lovely messages from friends and complete strangers, and I’ve made friends because of writing.
Then just last week, I spent a bit of time in the primary school attached to my work (it’s a P-12 college) and a young girl asked me if I was ‘the one who wrote that book’, and I got to say yes! (after I checked that she meant Albert the Great Australian Dragon and not the adult book about a drunk guy seeing dead people!) We had a cracking chat about talking dragons after that.
Look, I’m not saying I’d turn it down if an agent decided to start a bidding war with the Top 5 publishers and it crept into six-digits, but I am genuinely content carving out my own little corner.
Thank you to everyone who has come along for the ride. I can’t promise riches, but I can promise some ridiculous stories.
Cheers!
The Sluagh Sidhe
One of my all-time favourite fantasy novels is The Sword in the Storm by David Gemmell. It is a wonderful alternate historical fantasy about the Rigante tribe facing off against the ever encroaching armies of Stone.
For the historical buffs, yeah, you’re just one letter away from Brigantes and Stone is… drum roll, please… Rome.
But the story is superb and the folklore Gemmell weaves throughout is amazing. In particular, I always loved the Sidhe; a strange, mythic race connected to the land. Not quite fae, definitely not human, but something else entirely.
And now I find myself, thirty years later, putting my own spin on familiar legends. My latest book is an idea I’ve had rattling around the old noggin for about ten years. It started with a simple idea and then a title.
The idea: what if the Roman Ninth Legion did indeed vanish…and the children were left behind?
The title: The Children of the Ninth.
That’s all I had. Literally the idea and the title. I thought about it on and off for years… particularly when we spent a fair amount of time pratting around on Hadrian’s Wall in 2018/2019.
Various iterations (in my head) involved dragons, time travel (thanks, Doctor Who!), underground civilisations, and good old-fashioned brutal warfare, but I never put pen to paper. Until last week.
Last week I started writing. No plan. No idea beyond the basic premise and a nagging thought it should be geared as a middle-grade horror (because there’s very little out there between Goosebumps and Stephen King…and kids love scary books!) I spent bloody ages picking out cool Roman names for my characters then I killed one of the buggers in the second chapter! I genuinely have no idea what I’m doing.
Today, I hit eleven-thousands words and the Bean Sidhe made an appearance, which is really cool because I didn’t know what the hell that was this morning. I just wrote a creepy old hag into the story and then I did some research on Scottish mythology and folklore. The creepy hag became the Bean Sidhe and now she’s about to summon the Sluagh Sidhe, which means ‘host of the sidhe’ or sluagh na marb, ‘the host of the dead’.
These are dislodged souls, or the unforgiven, and they tend to attack in a great flying crescent-shaped horde. I don’t know what I’m going to do with them, but it’s going to be fun finding out.
What was perhaps even more fun finding out was the origins of The Sidhe in one of my favourite novels. I mean, I probably should have known, but until a few hours ago I thought Gemmell himself made it up. Silly me. I’m a little bit disappointed he didn’t use the alternative spelling though.
Sith really has a ring to it.
I wonder if anyone has used that before?
Thanks for reading folks x
The one written at 4am about whatever is rattling around my tired mind.
Well, 343am to be precise. I’m wide awake. Again. It’s a relatively normal occurance but I am getting a little bored of approaching the wee hours from this direction. It was a lot more fun when I was a young man coming home, putting a pizza in the oven, and then promptly forgetting about it as I passed out on the couch. But now I’m just… awake… and thinking.
Here’s a list so far…
1) if the Ninth Roman Legion simply vanished overnight in mysterious circumstances and left all the children behind, what happened to the women in the camp?
2) is there a special place in hell reserved for vanity publishers who masquerade as traditional publishers?
3) what’s that sound?
4) why is that video of Tim Minchin’s Matilda set to Dragula so freaking good?!
5) how much horror is too much horror for middle grade readers? There seems to be a huge gap between Goosebumps and Stephen King, which reminds me of…
6) the time my wife and I were shopping for clothes for our daughter and Kel loudly proclaimed, “there’s literally nothing between princess and whore!”
7) why is an extremely old lady running incredibly fast towards you such a scary image? (Give it time)
And of course, the old faithful…
8) if I fall asleep now how much sleep could I possibly get before I have to get up and function?
That vanity press one though… does my head in!
An update:
Win my books by buying my books
The Book and the Blade is a ‘Kindle Daily Deal’ on June 22nd, which in itself is kind of cool. But because I’m a muppet and desperate for attention I’ve decided to turn it into a competition. Buy it today for cheap, show me proof of purchase, and I’ll enter your name in a draw to win a paperback version of The Book and the Blade, plus Albert the Great Australian Dragon (for kids, and big kids), AND Reindeer Games (definitely not for kids!)
This is open worldwide, because I’m an idiot.
Sales links are here…
I’ll draw the winner on Sunday 25th and let you know!
Cheers!
Happy Birthday to Good Omens!
A twitter thread, which I’m hoping appears below in the correct order
Cats are self-absorbed twats
(a post from Facebook)
“Al, you have cats. So why are you so mean to them in your books?”
Oh, I don’t know… how about this bitch, Sally. The nutter who gets the zoomies at 4am for no reason, who will sleep at my daughter’s feet then run up the bed and over her head when I try to put her in the garage, who will look at me, meow loudly to be let out, and then walk away when I open the door. Or, how about today, when she was hiding in a box in the garage when we left to take the kid to school… so I stopped the car to let her in the house and she bolted, for no apparent reason, across the road and down the drain. Where she stayed underground for TWELVE HOURS! And when I ended up flat on my belly on the drain under the neighbour’s car trying to entice her out, the little bitch began purring and rubbing herself against the concrete walls (it was by torchlight so I guess romantic 🤷♂️). I could almost reach her but not enough to make a grab (I “could have” got her tail but didn’t by the way because I’m a fucking delight!) Then when I knocked on the door to ask old mate to move his ute he (sleepily) said “that cat?” and the little slag was waiting at our front door. So yeah, maybe that’s why I’m mean to cats in my story. Oh, and Sally is the nice one. Nyx is the bitch.
The one about simultaneous submissions
After the recent news that my book, Rock Zombie, lost its publisher (due to the publisher ceasing to exist and annoyingly not rising from the dead in a blaze of ironic glory) I am back submitting. Any writer will tell you that this is far from a fun process. It isn’t just the hard work of getting your synopsis, cover letter, bio, comparable titles, elevator pitch, and, you know, novel itself polished and ready, it’s the anticipation… the hope… the f*cking never-bloody-ending wait for a response! It takes a toll. Not to mention of course how utterly bizarre it is to have people read your work in the first place.
Everyone, please read my stories! Except, sort of don’t. It’s weird.
Writers
What you might not know if you haven’t put yourself through this particular wringer, is the added little addendum many publishers have in which they stipulate they will not accept ‘simultaneous submissions’. This means that if you submit your work to them you are doing so in the understanding that you are submitting only to them.
I guess I understand the reasoning; that if a publishing house goes through all the trouble of reading your work, liking it, debating it, deciding to publish it and then putting together an offer only to be told you’ve gone elsewhere, that could piss people off. But, honestly, it strikes me more like that one girl in high school who kept you on the line just enough to offer a glimmer of hope in a boob-filled future only for you to find out years later you never really stood a chance in the first place because some b-list celebrity came along and wrote a kids book/had a car with a CD player.
I might be mixing my metaphors here.
I think I have some issues.
Well, that is true… which is why I never submit to publishers who stipulate no simultaneous submissions. I received a form rejection recently that was for a book I submitted so long ago I actually forgot which one it was. I had to go back through my spreadsheet to find out. Sixteen months it took to get a response! Sixteen! Can you imagine waiting sixteen months on one submission and then going again?! Nightmare. And there are so many publishers you never hear from at all. That’s fair, that’s the game, but one at a time can go for burton.
However!
And it’s a big however entirely deserving of the line break, centre-justification, and bold text… when I created a list of potential new publishers for Rock Zombie there was one that rose above the others, and though they didn’t stipulate no simultaneous submissions, they did mention they have a 21 day turnaround. Twenty-one days is far more manageable than sixteen months, and I really like them, so this one time only I submitted to just the one place. And now we’re on the twenty-first day (not accounting for time difference) and I haven’t heard anything, so I’m experiencing a little microcosm of the whole process. It’s lovely, I tells you! Just lovely! Gotta dig that hope!
Ah, what am I complaining about? I know the drill, I’m an old-hand at this now. I’ll be a little disheartened if I hear nothing at all, that’s true, but then I’ll just get on with it. Roll the dice again.
I love Rock Zombie. I think people will get a real kick out of it, and the honest truth is, I really want to submit it to the amazing publisher of The Book and the Blade, but as Parliament House Press have signed four of my books already and I submitted a fifth a few months ago, I think I might be pushing it! 😀
So, if the phone doesn’t ring tomorrow, I have a top ten list of contacts I’ll be sending Rock Zombie off to later in the week… but this time I’ll be sending them all together… because sod no simultaneous submissions.
And clearly, the fact that this is the second blog post in as many days means I’m totally not dwelling on it at all. No, not even a little bit.
Cheers!
A.B. Finlayson 